AT FIRST LIGHT: DAY 5 He meets me where I am

D.J. and two-year-old Lilli (Summer 2008)

At first light this morning I felt a pit growing in my stomach. Today was the day I have been anticipating for weeks now. A mid-morning evaluation that would help sway my future. We would finally make a decision and move forward with the plans.
My nerves kept me from sitting still long

enough to concentrate on my Bible but prayer calmed the jitters.

I am so thankful for fluid prayer. Talking to God on the move is where I often learn the most about what He is trying to teach me during my moments of pure fear.

And with three little kids always bouncing around, I am always on the move!

Brother Lawrence could relate. He signed up to be a prayer warrior and was dumbfounded when he was assigned kitchen duty.  In Practicing the Presence of God Brother Lawrence writes about his struggle to stay closely connected to God through prayer in the midst of the daily grind.

 "O my God, since Thou art with me, and I must now, in obedience to Thy commands, apply my mind to these outward things, I beseech Thee to grant me the grace to continue in Thy presence;and to this end do Thou prosper me with Thy assistance. In the noise and clatter of my kitchen, while several persons are at the same time calling for different things, I possess God in as great tranquility as if I were upon my knees at the Blessed Sacrament."

God longs for us to talk to Him all the time, at any time. He wants to hear it all.

And He did from me today. 

At 6 am this morning He lovingly listened to my petitions for discernment. As my husband drove me to the specialist, I mumbled prayers to calm my anxiety and asked for a clearness of mind to ask the right questions. As we waded through the "what ifs" and "if onlys" , my God, my Abba Father,

opened His arms to me in tenderness as my husband held me. He can handle my pain.

The beautiful thing about God is that He meets us where we are. Whether we are in the pit of struggle or the mountain of joy-God is there. He met me today in my frailty and vulnerability. He comforted me in my indecision. He spoke to me through the encouraging mouths of those who love me dearly.

He stays me.

Blessings, Jodi