Tuesday, March 27, 2012
At First Light: Days 9 & 10 Feeling The Strain of Life
I'm posting these two days together because I am caught up in a whirlwind of Popsicles, chicken noodle soup, cuddles and sign language! Lilli had her tonsils removed yesterday early morning. I spent my first light at the surgical center holding her hand as she was put to sleep. I'm so proud of her. She was brave and beautiful. She really has the personality of an angel (of which I take ZERO credit-that's ALL God). She is such a gift to D.J. and I.
My mother-in-law has been watching our younger two so I can care for Lilli at home. It has been such a dream to have this time with her to myself. She feel asleep laying on top of me last night in the guest bed. I held her close and her smell brought me back to when she was born. Helpless. Needy. All mine.
I am vulnerable and needy myself these last few days. I feel on the edge of breakdown. There has been too much time apart in recent weeks between my husband and I and I am feeling the strain. But this morning when he hustled out to work I am again reminded to turn to the only One who can truly meet my every need. People, things, physical health....everything I claw after in this world will eventually let me down. Except for Jesus. Today as Lilli needs me for her every move and every swallow...I need Him. Desperately. And He always comes when I call.
*Brooks - I'm looking forward to the YL banquet tonight! It will be awesome! I'm sure you got tons/thousands of phone calls wondering what happened, as did I, when you missed a day blogging...lol!