Monday, January 5, 2015

For the days you want to quit your calling! And why you must. keep. going.

I have the privilege 
of being a Mama.
There is no greater vocation.

But I dream 
beyond mothering too.

After years of restlessness,
I have discovered another deep, raw whisper.

As Christian author Lisa Brenninkmeyer says,
 finding our calling is discovering our 
"holy discontent”.

It is taking our journey;
our grief, our joy, our struggle, our heartache and turning our brokenness into blessing.

Our holy discontent is often birthed, like mine, out of disappointment and searching.

But when we discover it, 
our searching soul is suddenly at rest. 

Our calling is where our GIFTEDNESS COLLIDES 
with our CONVICTION.

It's identifying what breaks our hearts and then doing something about it. It's pursuing what God created us to do, not for our fame, 
but to bring Him glory.

Through writing and speaking, 
I have a passion to encourage the hearts of women to discover the same truth that has transformed my life. To remind others that our souls will never be truly satisfied by anything this world has to offer.

We were made for more.

A few months ago, I had the invitation to serve in my sweet spot.  Women were pioneering a new Walking With Purpose parish program in Alexandria, VA. They were hosting a promotional kick-off Connect Coffee and invited me as their guest speaker. 

I also had the blessing of ministering to that parish's leadership team for the hour before the gathering. As we huddled around a tight conference room table, we addressed the  obstacles of what can keep us from saying a hearty “yes” to serving as leaders.  Each woman, 20 in all, shared from her heart about her personal 
stumbling blocks.

The things that can keep us 
from answering our call.  

The answers were varied. 
And brutally honest. 

She felt ill-equipped or too shy or too busy or too old to love women. Too unfamiliar with the Bible,too much pressure at work.  
Too tired to serve.  

We shared and we prayed.
Asking that because God was calling us to serve, He would provide the strength and the energy. And we held fast to the truth that,

We talked about how HARD the evil one is working to keep ministries like Walking With Purpose from growing, to keep women from knowing Jesus Christ.

And we held tight to the power in knowing that regardless of how hard Satan works, the VICTORY IS ALREADY OURS.

And yes, Satan 
is working hard.

My hubby and I swapped vehicles before I headed out to Alexandria that afternoon. The trip started off badly from the beginning, when the power steering on his truck went out. Panicking that I would be late, I turned around and headed back to Kent Island, frantically stopping by my parent’s house to borrow their extra car; a 1990 Mazda Miata that my Dad bought my Mom as a gift when I was ten. Back then, I remember thinking that the convertible was super cool.  Emphasis on BACK. THEN.

But now, as a Mama of four babies who drives a huge black "Monster XL" around every day, driving that tiny car around I-295 felt like a deathtrap! It's been a little bit since I ventured far from our Eastern Shore farm roads so as I navigated the four-lane highway around the U.S. Pentagon, I was clutching that grey steering wheel for dear life!!! 

Needless to say, I made it.
Found the church.
Parked the car.

I went to unlock the tiny trunk where I had stashed my talk notes, wrapped presents for the leadership team, and an IPOD speaker I was counting on using to play a song during my talk…when it happened.  I turned the key into the key hole and heard a click. The key twisted and bent beyond repair.  There was no way I was getting inside of that trunk to my purse. 

All of my materials were stuck inside.


But I couldn’t help but smile…

Because yes, I had left four babies and my hubby at home (with homework on a soccer game night) and borrowed cars and
navigated around D.C. to share Jesus and what He has done in my life. 
And yes, the Devil can be clever. 
And he’s working ever-so-hard to tie us up.

But the Evil One is just 
spinning his wheels.

Because we trust FULLY 
in the One who has 

The gospel cannot be stopped. 

It takes more than a locked trunk to hush the good news 
of Jesus Christ. 

“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (2 Corinthians 2:17-18)

After the leadership training, there I stood looking out over a beautifully decorated fellowship hall of this Catholic Church. 

Stood in front of 140 WOMEN who had flooded to Church on a dark, Monday night, eager and anxious to hear something fresh. 

Thirty more women came than expected because that’s what showing an, "outpouring love for women" does. That kind of love attracts.

And with no notes, armed only with God’s Holy Scripture, the messages that I have learned most deeply from attending WWP for so many years, poured out of my soul.  Suddenly all of those long, dark days and God-wrestling and soul-crying was worth it.  The truths God has whispered to me radiated out. 

Not because I have memorized them. 
But because I have been 
transformed by them.

The truth that I am not defined by what I do or what I accomplish. That my worth is not found in how many I mother or who I am married to or what size house I live in.
That my identity does not come from my wounds nor my pants size nor my addictions nor my career designation.

I have one title.
And so do you. 

Only one identity that will last for all of eternity: I am God’s beloved daughter. 

I am His and that is all that matters. My dignity alone is found in relationship with the Heavenly Father. 

And if we truly believe that, truly embrace that Biblical truth, how can our entire lives not be transformed? 

If we’re honest, like Taylor Swift sings, on most days the things of this world can be hard to “shake off” can’t they? 

We are wounded. 
We get down and disappointed. 

But, as we grow into a more intimate relationship with Jesus Christ, we learn that it is not that our circumstances magically change, but our perspective. And suddenly, when sitting in the shadow of the cross, these worldly things, that seem like such a big deal in the “now”, become easier to “shake off” as we remember that we are not home yet. That our citizenship is not here. We were not made for this world. There is more for us and it will only be found when we are finally sitting in the eternal lap of our Heavenly Father.

The Holy Spirit is stirring up a MIGHTY work in the Catholic Church through 
Walking With Purpose.


I have visited six locations in the last few weeks and I am SEEING it firsthand.

This gospel is infectious.

The hope found in Jesus Christ is 

Blowing them into eternity.

So if today, you are wrestling with your calling...


Stand firm my sister.

 Do not repeat the lies that the Evil One is whispering into your tired ears. Instead, live out your calling from your knees.

And if today is a bad day?
And you are discouraged?
Or just plain tired?
Or feeling defeated from the very moment your feet hit the ground?

It's ok. Show yourself a BIG heaping of grace.

Steal away to reconnect with the One who loves you so dearly He paid the highest price.  

For Jesus has been where you are today. He remembers…

And He has overcome.

Walking with Purpose aims to bring women to a deeper personal relationship with Jesus Christ by offering personal study and small group discussion that link our everyday challenges and struggles with the solutions given to us through the teachings of Christ and the Roman Catholic Church.