Monday, September 1, 2014

Why it's OK if you aren't ready for back-to-school...

Somehow, even though our school starts later
than everyone else in the state of Maryland,
we are SO NOT READY for tomorrow.

I want to stay in our swim suits and keep having late breakfast.
I love cartoon mornings and lazy afternoon walks to the park.
I like being ok with losing the Denali keys, because we
do NOT have to be anywhere but home.
And quite honestly, I'm just NOT READY.

The back-to-school prep seems endless.
And I only have a first and third grader.
(I know you Mamas with a crew of 6 or 7 small peeps
are feeling REAL sorry for me right now huh?)
But the baby needs nursing and the three-year-old (somehow)
got his underpants wet (again).
Two eggs are broken and dripping,
yellow sticky down the inside of our fridge.
The groceries need to be put away and
there is a horrible smell coming from the hall bathroom.
The kids are antsy and loud.
A raccoon went to town in the garage last night,
 leaving cat food spread all over the concrete floor.
Every time I clean a space or a counter top or a bathroom
 it gets magically messy within 10 minutes.
I forgot to get lunchmeat for tomorrow's 
LUNCHMEAT sandwiches.
I check the clock again and throw my hands in the air;
to the fact that there is NO WAY
we will be ready for back to school tomorrow.

Is it too late to think about homeschooling?
(To all my readers who have been trying to convince me to homeschool for the past few years, now is NOT the time sisters.)
Which is why I am siting here, my legs propped up on our
green-striped ottoman, surrounded by toys and board games and fruit snack wrappers and used batteries.
One kid hanging from my ankles, another playing with my hair
as I "help" write a back-to-school (ten-sentence) paragraph on Stuart Little with an eight-year-old who claims her right hand no longer works after summer break.
And I have no idea what's for dinner.
I've decided to just give up.
We haven't even started the school year yet and
I feel like a giant failure from the start.
But that's the beautiful thing about writing, 
because when I'm too exhausted to call a friend
(and too afraid she'd then call the cops after hearing all of this "hot mess" noise in the background)
scratching out my learning helps me to remember...
*That in mothering,
when I finally get to this point of surrendering
and totally giving up,
(which pretty much happens on a daily basis these days)
I find so much comfort in falling at the feet of Jesus.

*That in admitting my brokenness
is where I grow the most;
rediscovering just how much my Creator God loves me
and all of my messiness.
*That I am flawed and ill-equipped and unorganized,
but that He is faithful and always fills in all the gaps.
*That every obstacle and interruption and clogged toilet
and dirty diaper and crazy back-to-school supply list
powered by Christ's love.
*That every child who disobeys, or annoys, or "stirs up trouble"
is really just a hurting, tender soul. 

*That my children are just like me,
sinning great, yet forgiven much.
*That waving the "white Mama-flag" in TRUE SURRENDER
(aka grabbing my Bible, a HUGE iced tea, and my laptop
when I should be upstairs washing school uniforms)
is not a moment of weakness, but a much-needed pause
to count the many blessings God is doing in this home.
So there.
Take THAT back-to-school.
I fully surrender this 2014-2015 school year.

Not to myself or to this world.

But I surrender the learning of these little ones to my Heavenly Father; the ONLY one who is in FULL CONTROL.
So when the alarm goes off early tomorrow morning and I rush to feed the baby and dress the toddler and work magic on our six-year-old's crazy, fine hair,
I will probably utter the words in my head,
 "How in the heck am I going to survive this year?"
But here's to hoping that when I do,
I will recall THIS very moment...
THIS instant where I feel the peace of God
and this living room is quiet and
dripping with the presence of the Holy Spirit
(yes, all four kids are banging around upstairs, 
but you get the point of what "quiet" means to a SAHM).
And I am reminded that in the scheme of eternity,
tomorrow is just a blink. 
 That the Lord cares nothing about getting it ALL done 
and everything about the condition of my heart.
so I must DECREASE."
John 3:30
PS- I just had to come back and update my post
from a few minutes ago...
You know how I was a braggin' about that "quiet" I was loving? Well, you guessed it...
a house THAT quiet is NEVER  a good sign.
I walked upstairs to find this...

Curious to read about how this whole back-to-school-thang
went at our house LAST YEAR?
Then click here: