Sunday, January 3, 2010

Baby Girl...Mama Wants The Reins Back!

Is it possible to wage a war against one of your own children?

Now, before you judge (or laugh) let me just tell you that this question has been looming throughout my head all evening. In fact, I am so serious about this proposition that I have decided to answer my own cry for battle by drawing a line in the sand. Yes, it is doable and I am putting on my armor. Let the warfare begin!

On paper-this should be a quick and easy conflict.

One side (mine) seems equipped for victory, the other doomed to fail. I am five foot nine, she is 34” tall. I sleep in a bed, and can dress and shower myself. She dreams in a crib, wears her food on her collar (or in her hair) and has had ever square inch of her little body wiped clean by me at some point in the day –often multiple times. She weighs 22 pounds, I weigh…well, I am assuming you get the point and some details can be left out. But you are catching my drift-I am the Goliath and she is the David……oh wait, I just remembered how that story ended.

So what has brought me to such an extreme conclusion? Pure frustration and exhaustion. I am tired of letting my littlest one, my daughter Lacey Marie, rule the roost. And I am sick of making excuses for her behavior.

I overanalyze what she eats, hold my breath when I put her down for a nap and detest going somewhere new because of how she reacts. She begs for me to hold her all day long (which I do), whines and cries constantly in the high chair and goes on a hunger strike every time we set foot in a restaurant. She runs from Daddy and only wants me. There are days I have actually considered chasing down the mailman who I see lingering on my front lawn, not for some adult conversation, but to bribe him into taking her off of my hands for just a few minutes (I told him she loves to sort and organize –maybe he could put her to work in the back of the truck?)

So I am writing this for accountability. And if you have been given permission to read this blog-you are one my closest friends and I am asking for your laughter, prayers, and encouragement.

MY GOAL? For the next 30 days I want to get a game plan on how to get this precious child back on track. I am going to hunker down and get back to basics. Enough of the bad habits. Enough worry about the all of the medical problems she went through this summer….enough excuses!

And I want to log each of my days – and our progress-on this blog.

My desire is to rear and raise a child who is a “delight” to others, a little girl with a selfless heart. My prayer is she becomes a teenager who shows self-control and accountability, and an adult who puts others above herself. I know that the foundation for those attributes starts now – at 22 months.

I desire more harmony in my home. Her behavior is wearing on my relationship with my husband, my number one priority, and on my nerves.

Oh …and My main motivation? I want to take a vacation with DJ in early February –ONE whole week away together in a tropical paradise………. And for some strange reason I have plenty of family members who want to watch Lillian while we are away, but no one is volunteering to baby sit Lace!

I love you all! Any comments would be great!
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